Friday, September 25, 2009

Negative Thought Process

Last night Lea gave me a compliment. She said that everything I touch turns to gold. All of our mutual friends feel the same way.

I don't feel that way about anything. Least of all myself. I feel I've been slipping way from the teachings of BOB. Active kindness is hard and I've been passing into negative thought processes lately.

This causes me to worry about my dedication to the cause of kindness. Which, in itself, is a sign of wavering commitment. Everything seems so taxing. Not worth it.

I will get through this. I knew the road wasn't going to be easy-- mostly because of myself. Instead of fighting it, struggling to continue, I will relax. Kindness will still be a goal, but no the main focus. Slowly bringing my attention back, not forcing it.

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