I Love You, But I'm Not IN Love with You

Someone wrote me, upset at my blog.
They happened to be listed in "Acts of Kindness Done for Me" section. They said it was done out of love. Not kindness.

Are love and kindness mutually exclusive?
If you love someone, does it transform the act of kindness into an act of duty instead?

You can love someone and yet do nothing for them. You can do acts of kindness for people that you don't love.

What is the defining line? When does an act of kindness become a duty of love?

I disagree with my friend's assertion. When you love someone, you tend to act more in kindness, not less.

Also, maybe kindness depends on two perspectives. The person who does it and the person having it done. There are acts of kindness which do not seem kind. And acts of malice which turn out to be gifts. Who is in charge of the definition?

What would happen if I chose to see every action as an act of kindness, regardless of whether it was committed with malice?

Acts of Kindness
35. Brightened my interviewers day
36. Complimented B-Fowl's hair
37. Went to say "hi" to the costume shop
38. Offered paper to Matt
39. Offered a show as a fundraiser for Theatre Guild
40. Genuinely wished Theatre Guild Board a great day.
41. Took writing time to talk to Dan
42. Complimented my mother's dress.
43. Tried to be mindful and respect Heather's process before and throughout rehearsal.

Acts of Kindness Done for Me
27,000,000 Compliments about my outfit
My mom bought me a composition notebook
HEATHER
Compliments at my job interview
Kind cashier at the gas station.