Last night Lea gave me a compliment. She said that everything I touch turns to gold. All of our mutual friends feel the same way.
I don't feel that way about anything. Least of all myself. I feel I've been slipping way from the teachings of BOB. Active kindness is hard and I've been passing into negative thought processes lately.
This causes me to worry about my dedication to the cause of kindness. Which, in itself, is a sign of wavering commitment. Everything seems so taxing. Not worth it.
I will get through this. I knew the road wasn't going to be easy-- mostly because of myself. Instead of fighting it, struggling to continue, I will relax. Kindness will still be a goal, but no the main focus. Slowly bringing my attention back, not forcing it.
Showing posts with label Kindness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kindness. Show all posts
Friday, September 25, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
I Love You, But I'm Not IN Love with You
Someone wrote me, upset at my blog.
They happened to be listed in "Acts of Kindness Done for Me" section. They said it was done out of love. Not kindness.
Are love and kindness mutually exclusive?
If you love someone, does it transform the act of kindness into an act of duty instead?
You can love someone and yet do nothing for them. You can do acts of kindness for people that you don't love.
What is the defining line? When does an act of kindness become a duty of love?
I disagree with my friend's assertion. When you love someone, you tend to act more in kindness, not less.
Also, maybe kindness depends on two perspectives. The person who does it and the person having it done. There are acts of kindness which do not seem kind. And acts of malice which turn out to be gifts. Who is in charge of the definition?
What would happen if I chose to see every action as an act of kindness, regardless of whether it was committed with malice?
Acts of Kindness
35. Brightened my interviewers day
36. Complimented B-Fowl's hair
37. Went to say "hi" to the costume shop
38. Offered paper to Matt
39. Offered a show as a fundraiser for Theatre Guild
40. Genuinely wished Theatre Guild Board a great day.
41. Took writing time to talk to Dan
42. Complimented my mother's dress.
43. Tried to be mindful and respect Heather's process before and throughout rehearsal.
Acts of Kindness Done for Me
27,000,000 Compliments about my outfit
My mom bought me a composition notebook
HEATHER
Compliments at my job interview
Kind cashier at the gas station.
They happened to be listed in "Acts of Kindness Done for Me" section. They said it was done out of love. Not kindness.
Are love and kindness mutually exclusive?
If you love someone, does it transform the act of kindness into an act of duty instead?
You can love someone and yet do nothing for them. You can do acts of kindness for people that you don't love.
What is the defining line? When does an act of kindness become a duty of love?
I disagree with my friend's assertion. When you love someone, you tend to act more in kindness, not less.
Also, maybe kindness depends on two perspectives. The person who does it and the person having it done. There are acts of kindness which do not seem kind. And acts of malice which turn out to be gifts. Who is in charge of the definition?
What would happen if I chose to see every action as an act of kindness, regardless of whether it was committed with malice?
Acts of Kindness
35. Brightened my interviewers day
36. Complimented B-Fowl's hair
37. Went to say "hi" to the costume shop
38. Offered paper to Matt
39. Offered a show as a fundraiser for Theatre Guild
40. Genuinely wished Theatre Guild Board a great day.
41. Took writing time to talk to Dan
42. Complimented my mother's dress.
43. Tried to be mindful and respect Heather's process before and throughout rehearsal.
Acts of Kindness Done for Me
27,000,000 Compliments about my outfit
My mom bought me a composition notebook
HEATHER
Compliments at my job interview
Kind cashier at the gas station.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
A Beginning, Of Sorts.
"Nothing is a coincidence. I have a new goal. One million acts of kindness. Accomplishable by age 70."-- andyoureuglytoo via Twitter, 9.17.09, 3:04 PM
Everything has a way of falling into place. Maybe it doesn't happen the way you want. But it happens the way you need.
My mother and I meet for lunch whenever I am on campus. Usually it's our only chance to get to talk, find out how life is for the other and generally just bullshit.
This particular day, however, my mother wasn't locked in her windowless basement office.
So I left her a note:
"I was here. You weren't. Thought mommies were supposed to feed their baby punkins. This is lame. Lame, I say!"
On my trek into a nearby neighborhood (as I am not officially a student anymore at the University, I'm not allowed to park on campus) my mother called. She wanted me to come back. I didn't particularly feel like it, but free food is free food. So, I found a quarter and parked at one of the meters by the student union. (I found one with time left so I could maximize my staying potential.)
After lunch I went to retrieve my car.
A man with a sign proclaiming:
Onemillionactsofkindness.com
(and his dog) were passing out stickers that proudly proclaimed the same slogan.
At first I was skeptical. My mind categorized him into "Christian Nutcase."
But BOB is not a religion pusher.
He travels America with a simpler goal:
He wants to promote kindness.
***
In some fashion or another, I've always wanted to save the world. Yet, I was always too busy looking at the big picture that I lost my sense of self.
Somewhere along the way, I became mired in the sludge that is the human existence. I became mean, vindictive, spiteful, arrogant and hateful, among other things. I knew it too. Which only increased my self-loathing.
College was a terribly dark, lonely period of my life. I lost all my high school friends and was too miserable to make new ones.
Then I directed one of the most amazing productions I have ever seen and life began to change.
I could spend time recounting that period, but if you're reading this, you probably either A.) lived through it with me or B.) have heard enough about it.
After Dog Sees God, I was sucked into a new world, a new life.
Everything I knew and loved was stripped away. I quit my job, quit doing theatre, quit being who I was.
And it was glorious!
I spent the summer being drunk, stoned, inebriated, floating or tripping of one sort or another.
Without trying to or realizing it, I lost 30 pounds. I smiled more. I learned to say "I love you"-- and mean it.
My whole outlook on life changed.
I still have much to work on, but now I'm putting my life back together. Examining. Reassembling. Tossing out that which doesn't work.
As a part of it, I've been attempting to do some kindness. Daily.
Smiling at people. Looking them in the eye. Complimenting them. Helping. Making real connections, even if just for a moment.
This world can and will be a better place. I will be a better man.
Yes, I'm still focused on the "big picture." But I can work towards kindness every day.
I am a warrior. Kindness is my weapon.
This is going to be the chronicle of how I am following the teachings of BOB and attempting to do 50 acts of kindness a day. This will be a study of the ramifications on myself and the world around me.
Hopefully, I can reach 1,000,000 by seventy.
Today's Acts of Kindness
1. Donating $5.00 to BOB and his cause
2. Giving change to a homeless man who needed it for the bus. (Does this count? He's probably using the money to buy drugs.)
3. Complimenting the woman's glasses at Walgreens.
4. Getting a sticker for Natalie
5. Saying "I love you" to my brother
6. Offering to sweep the classroom so my professor wouldn't have to
7. Offering to help a senior citizen who was carrying a large bag of dog food.
8. Giving a "present" to Jeff.
9. Refilled TJ's Q Tip Container
10. Sidewalk Chalk!
11 Giving a "present" Maya.
12 Picking up trash while on a walk
Acts of Kindness Done for Me
TJ cleaned the livingroom after my party.
Everything has a way of falling into place. Maybe it doesn't happen the way you want. But it happens the way you need.
My mother and I meet for lunch whenever I am on campus. Usually it's our only chance to get to talk, find out how life is for the other and generally just bullshit.
This particular day, however, my mother wasn't locked in her windowless basement office.
So I left her a note:
"I was here. You weren't. Thought mommies were supposed to feed their baby punkins. This is lame. Lame, I say!"
On my trek into a nearby neighborhood (as I am not officially a student anymore at the University, I'm not allowed to park on campus) my mother called. She wanted me to come back. I didn't particularly feel like it, but free food is free food. So, I found a quarter and parked at one of the meters by the student union. (I found one with time left so I could maximize my staying potential.)
After lunch I went to retrieve my car.
A man with a sign proclaiming:
Onemillionactsofkindness.com
(and his dog) were passing out stickers that proudly proclaimed the same slogan.
At first I was skeptical. My mind categorized him into "Christian Nutcase."
But BOB is not a religion pusher.
He travels America with a simpler goal:
He wants to promote kindness.
***
In some fashion or another, I've always wanted to save the world. Yet, I was always too busy looking at the big picture that I lost my sense of self.
Somewhere along the way, I became mired in the sludge that is the human existence. I became mean, vindictive, spiteful, arrogant and hateful, among other things. I knew it too. Which only increased my self-loathing.
College was a terribly dark, lonely period of my life. I lost all my high school friends and was too miserable to make new ones.
Then I directed one of the most amazing productions I have ever seen and life began to change.
I could spend time recounting that period, but if you're reading this, you probably either A.) lived through it with me or B.) have heard enough about it.
After Dog Sees God, I was sucked into a new world, a new life.
Everything I knew and loved was stripped away. I quit my job, quit doing theatre, quit being who I was.
And it was glorious!
I spent the summer being drunk, stoned, inebriated, floating or tripping of one sort or another.
Without trying to or realizing it, I lost 30 pounds. I smiled more. I learned to say "I love you"-- and mean it.
My whole outlook on life changed.
I still have much to work on, but now I'm putting my life back together. Examining. Reassembling. Tossing out that which doesn't work.
As a part of it, I've been attempting to do some kindness. Daily.
Smiling at people. Looking them in the eye. Complimenting them. Helping. Making real connections, even if just for a moment.
This world can and will be a better place. I will be a better man.
Yes, I'm still focused on the "big picture." But I can work towards kindness every day.
I am a warrior. Kindness is my weapon.
This is going to be the chronicle of how I am following the teachings of BOB and attempting to do 50 acts of kindness a day. This will be a study of the ramifications on myself and the world around me.
Hopefully, I can reach 1,000,000 by seventy.
Today's Acts of Kindness
1. Donating $5.00 to BOB and his cause
2. Giving change to a homeless man who needed it for the bus. (Does this count? He's probably using the money to buy drugs.)
3. Complimenting the woman's glasses at Walgreens.
4. Getting a sticker for Natalie
5. Saying "I love you" to my brother
6. Offering to sweep the classroom so my professor wouldn't have to
7. Offering to help a senior citizen who was carrying a large bag of dog food.
8. Giving a "present" to Jeff.
9. Refilled TJ's Q Tip Container
10. Sidewalk Chalk!
11 Giving a "present" Maya.
12 Picking up trash while on a walk
Acts of Kindness Done for Me
TJ cleaned the livingroom after my party.
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