I had to take a break from Kindness. Not from committing acts of kindness, but from consciously thinking about it. It's been an eye opener.
In general, I believe myself to have already made progress in being a kinder individual. Kindness that doesn't require thought.
Also, I've been in thought about the format of this blog. TJ told me that he and someone else were discussing my entries. They were concerned that someone might find my blog egotistical.
In the end, I don't care if people find it egotistical. This research isn't for others. However, the BLOG is written to inspire others to think about Kindness. If something I've done deters someone from being kind, then I'm not doing a very good job.
Therefore, I'm slightly changing the format of You Can't Take it With You.
But, if I may address the person mentioned above and his (or her) concerns.
The list of kindness is actually a joke. I'm not tallying every kindness I do. The list was just a conceit to hold together the blog.
Look for the new entries next week.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
Questions Only
I interviewed at Family Video recently. Today, I hand delivered a thank you card to them.
A kind action.
However, I did it with the motivation of: "to get a job."
Does this negate the kindness?
A kind action.
However, I did it with the motivation of: "to get a job."
Does this negate the kindness?
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Sunday Affirmation
An affirmation
I'm going to see this journey through to the end. By whole-heartedly helping myself to become, I am helping the world to become. I will accept all as a positive challenge, presented to me from the universe. I will follow my deepest inner voice, trusting it to know the way.
I'm going to see this journey through to the end. By whole-heartedly helping myself to become, I am helping the world to become. I will accept all as a positive challenge, presented to me from the universe. I will follow my deepest inner voice, trusting it to know the way.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Idiot is as Idiot Does
I am an idiot. Or, I can be.
One of my friends has children. Two children.
I hate the fact that she doesn't pay them any mind or attention. Even when she has visitation, she'd much rather do what she wants than spend quality time with them.
The younger one calls me from time to time. He wants to hang out. I constantly make excuses so that I don't have to. And it's simply because I don't feel like it.
This isn't one of my finer actions.
A little person is reaching out to me. He is coming to me, asking to be my friend. I reject him.
I'm thinking of becoming a Big Brother, but I don't have time to treat those close to me with kindness. This is where I should begin.
I need to learn to open myself up to those in front of me. I need to see and help those closest before I can help anyone else.
*Disclaimer* This is only from my perspective. What I can see. Maybe she spends much more time with her children than I assume.
One of my friends has children. Two children.
I hate the fact that she doesn't pay them any mind or attention. Even when she has visitation, she'd much rather do what she wants than spend quality time with them.
The younger one calls me from time to time. He wants to hang out. I constantly make excuses so that I don't have to. And it's simply because I don't feel like it.
This isn't one of my finer actions.
A little person is reaching out to me. He is coming to me, asking to be my friend. I reject him.
I'm thinking of becoming a Big Brother, but I don't have time to treat those close to me with kindness. This is where I should begin.
I need to learn to open myself up to those in front of me. I need to see and help those closest before I can help anyone else.
*Disclaimer* This is only from my perspective. What I can see. Maybe she spends much more time with her children than I assume.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Negative Thought Process
Last night Lea gave me a compliment. She said that everything I touch turns to gold. All of our mutual friends feel the same way.
I don't feel that way about anything. Least of all myself. I feel I've been slipping way from the teachings of BOB. Active kindness is hard and I've been passing into negative thought processes lately.
This causes me to worry about my dedication to the cause of kindness. Which, in itself, is a sign of wavering commitment. Everything seems so taxing. Not worth it.
I will get through this. I knew the road wasn't going to be easy-- mostly because of myself. Instead of fighting it, struggling to continue, I will relax. Kindness will still be a goal, but no the main focus. Slowly bringing my attention back, not forcing it.
I don't feel that way about anything. Least of all myself. I feel I've been slipping way from the teachings of BOB. Active kindness is hard and I've been passing into negative thought processes lately.
This causes me to worry about my dedication to the cause of kindness. Which, in itself, is a sign of wavering commitment. Everything seems so taxing. Not worth it.
I will get through this. I knew the road wasn't going to be easy-- mostly because of myself. Instead of fighting it, struggling to continue, I will relax. Kindness will still be a goal, but no the main focus. Slowly bringing my attention back, not forcing it.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Death Notice
This morning was rough. Nora was in bad shape. Horrible shape. She could barely stand, let alone eat. She had to be force fed.
This is mostly likely due to my...incompetence. I only fed her formula once yesterday, leaving 3 acorns in a food dish for her. (She's at that in-between age where she could, technically, be eating either. And the other day there was evidence that she'd eaten one.)
When I checked on her, two of the acorns were missing. This meant she ate them, right?
Anyway, she was force fed; then I went to class. The car ride was a crying tirade to The Universe.
Every stage of grief was experienced. I even offered up my life for that of the squirrel's that was going to die because I was stupid. Maybe a little extreme, but I meant it.
What's funny is that I never experienced such grief when anyone or anything else close to me died. I've always accepted it as a part of life. Things die. Tomorrow, even, my last childhood dog is going to be put to sleep.
Of course, the other deaths have all been age related. Expected, in some way. None of them ever depended on me for survival.
However, it was through kindness that I didn't become a dick today. Normally, I take this kind of emotion out on the world. I lash out. I become hurtful and vicious.
This might seem crazy or like it doesn't count, but my kindness to the world was simply not being a dick. Reaching deep inside, that was all I could muster.
Though it might not seem like much, it was still something.
Maybe Nora was brought into my life so that I could learn how to be kind through grief.
Maybe, though, it was so that I could learn a second lesson.
I learned about love. I want to keep Nora. I love her. But I need to let her go. If she survives the night, I'm taking her to a wildlife rescue shelter. I'm not equipped to raise a squirrel-- but they are. They can care for her much better than I can.
That is the ultimate kindness I can provide her.
Acts of Kindness
62. Held door for someone
63. Offered Jeff a ride
64. Tried to save the squirrel's life
65. Encouraging Ana
Acts of Kindness Done for Me
Lea's compliments
Lea letting me stay the night
Brick's compliments and concerns
Brick's hug
Jim's offer for Siti Company
David offering to sponsor the clean-up day
This is mostly likely due to my...incompetence. I only fed her formula once yesterday, leaving 3 acorns in a food dish for her. (She's at that in-between age where she could, technically, be eating either. And the other day there was evidence that she'd eaten one.)
When I checked on her, two of the acorns were missing. This meant she ate them, right?
Anyway, she was force fed; then I went to class. The car ride was a crying tirade to The Universe.
Every stage of grief was experienced. I even offered up my life for that of the squirrel's that was going to die because I was stupid. Maybe a little extreme, but I meant it.
What's funny is that I never experienced such grief when anyone or anything else close to me died. I've always accepted it as a part of life. Things die. Tomorrow, even, my last childhood dog is going to be put to sleep.
Of course, the other deaths have all been age related. Expected, in some way. None of them ever depended on me for survival.
However, it was through kindness that I didn't become a dick today. Normally, I take this kind of emotion out on the world. I lash out. I become hurtful and vicious.
This might seem crazy or like it doesn't count, but my kindness to the world was simply not being a dick. Reaching deep inside, that was all I could muster.
Though it might not seem like much, it was still something.
Maybe Nora was brought into my life so that I could learn how to be kind through grief.
Maybe, though, it was so that I could learn a second lesson.
I learned about love. I want to keep Nora. I love her. But I need to let her go. If she survives the night, I'm taking her to a wildlife rescue shelter. I'm not equipped to raise a squirrel-- but they are. They can care for her much better than I can.
That is the ultimate kindness I can provide her.
Acts of Kindness
62. Held door for someone
63. Offered Jeff a ride
64. Tried to save the squirrel's life
65. Encouraging Ana
Acts of Kindness Done for Me
Lea's compliments
Lea letting me stay the night
Brick's compliments and concerns
Brick's hug
Jim's offer for Siti Company
David offering to sponsor the clean-up day
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
A Significant Other (Or Lack Thereof)
Feeling slightly down today. Mostly, it was due to the lack of a significant other in my life. This is a sadness I deal with on a semi-regular basis.
Yet, I know this isn't the only meaningful connection life has to offer. Friends and Family. Strangers. Co-workers. The earth. Those are important too. Maybe more.
I don't know why a relationship isn't in the cards for me. I know I still have work to do on myself. I know I am not fully the person I want to be.
It's times like these that Kindness Research is so important. Instead of sinking into my darkness, I improve my situation by helping others.
First, it helps me realize that I'm not bad off.
Second, arguably more important, is that it helps me form connections outside of myself. This act of connection helps me to re-establish the fact that I am not alone. And that I don't have to be lonely. Like that elderly woman from yesterday. Very brief, but connection.
A connection that brightened my whole day.
In the world of text messages, Facebook and Twitter, we might feel more connected, but we're not. Actual, tangible, REAL connections are getting fewer and fewer.
Our entire society is developing a case of ADD. People can't even turn off their cell phones when sleeping or at a show. They text instead of talking-- in the same room! It's a disease that is tearing us apart and not bringing us together.
I know. I was one of those people.
Those tangible connections are what I'm chasing now. And I've been finding them in the most amazing places.
Acts of Kindness
52. Held the door for someone at EJ
53. Complimenting Carlos Andres Gomez
54. Saying goodbye to Shady
55. Holding the door for someone else
56. Letting someone into traffic
57. Taking Jeff to work and Nilla home
58. Offering UUCA to sponsor clean-up day
59. Starting to organize clean-up day
60. Encouraging Ana
61. Cleaning the squirrel's butt
Acts of Kindness Done for Me
Memaw giving me money and food
Yet, I know this isn't the only meaningful connection life has to offer. Friends and Family. Strangers. Co-workers. The earth. Those are important too. Maybe more.
I don't know why a relationship isn't in the cards for me. I know I still have work to do on myself. I know I am not fully the person I want to be.
It's times like these that Kindness Research is so important. Instead of sinking into my darkness, I improve my situation by helping others.
First, it helps me realize that I'm not bad off.
Second, arguably more important, is that it helps me form connections outside of myself. This act of connection helps me to re-establish the fact that I am not alone. And that I don't have to be lonely. Like that elderly woman from yesterday. Very brief, but connection.
A connection that brightened my whole day.
In the world of text messages, Facebook and Twitter, we might feel more connected, but we're not. Actual, tangible, REAL connections are getting fewer and fewer.
Our entire society is developing a case of ADD. People can't even turn off their cell phones when sleeping or at a show. They text instead of talking-- in the same room! It's a disease that is tearing us apart and not bringing us together.
I know. I was one of those people.
Those tangible connections are what I'm chasing now. And I've been finding them in the most amazing places.
Acts of Kindness
52. Held the door for someone at EJ
53. Complimenting Carlos Andres Gomez
54. Saying goodbye to Shady
55. Holding the door for someone else
56. Letting someone into traffic
57. Taking Jeff to work and Nilla home
58. Offering UUCA to sponsor clean-up day
59. Starting to organize clean-up day
60. Encouraging Ana
61. Cleaning the squirrel's butt
Acts of Kindness Done for Me
Memaw giving me money and food
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